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Dating in the Internet Age

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Do use Yelp and other review aggregates to help plan a dinner date.

Dinner and a movie might sound like a positively twentieth century approach to dating, but you’d be surprised how much intimacy can build between two people when they’re sharing a meal. It helps, of course, when the food is good — when you use Yelp (my personal favourite), Urbanspoon, or any of the other myriad restaurant or café review services on your mobile phone, you can pick a spot that will impress every time without hitting you where it hurts: your wallet. Plus, you’ll look like a savvy city dweller who knows the best place for every sort of food.

Don’t text during the date.

No exceptions. Why even think about it? That’s what trips to the washroom are for, guys. No matter how many times your phone buzzes (and I hope you’ve remembered to turn your phone to vibrate — no one wants to hear the same tritone chime every ten minutes), do not pick it up and text that person back. If it can’t be helped, make sure to politely excuse yourself and travel a safe distance away before texting back your mom, roommate, or step cousin.

Do use a Calendar service to remember important dates and times.

It’s 2013, people — there’s absolutely no excuse to be late to anything anymore now that we’ve all got miniature computers in our pockets. You don’t have to use Apple’s Calendar app; if you find a better one, download it and use it instead. If you intend on dating this person for a while, think about writing down casual details — a birthday, a religious celebration, whatever — for serious brownie points later.

Don’t use Wikipedia or other search engines to cheat in conversation.

One of the most important things when you start dating someone is establishing common ground — what your common interests are, what movies you both like, what foods neither of you can stand. Now that it’s easier to research pretty much anything immediately, it’s tempting to cheat when finding out about another person. Say their favourite book is Moby Dick, and you’ve never read it. Your mini encyclopedia phone is not an excuse to look up the SparkNotes or a quick review; just tell your beau you’re planning on reading it soon. The earlier you get in the habit of telling the truth, the smoother your ‘ship will sail.

Do agree on a way to present your relationship on the web.

Is it really a relationship if it’s not Facebook official? To some of you, this will come off as an asinine question, but to a few of you, it’s probably a serious consideration. Maybe both of you are pleased as punch to be “In a Relationship” on social media sites; maybe neither of you are very interested in using labels just yet; maybe you’ve never had a Facebook account or a Twitter username, making this a moot point. Still, any relationship with a set of legs should include at least one conversation that ends with a consensus on how to handle the delicacies of Internet fine print.

Don’t drop bombshells electronically.

This one I can’t stress enough. Don’t tell her you love her over text; don’t ask if he wants to meet your parents over email; don’t pop the question through Facebook chat. The Internet does make it easier to communicate, but it blurs the lines of the appropriateness of communication in equal measure. This is especially pertinent in the age of the cowardly breakup — too many yellow bellied boyfriends have broken it off via text. Even if it’s only been a couple weeks since you’ve started dating, they deserve at least a phone convo, and preferably a face to face sit-down. If you’ve been dating three months or more, that last part is non-negotiable.

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