“This is a great achievement and you should be very proud . . . I never graduated from university and it’s the single biggest regret of my entire life.”
-Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
“Way to go!”
-Chinese Proverb
“I love you no matter what. I’m sure this is exactly what you wanted to hear after spending the past 4 years working your ass off just to impress me.”
-Your Mother!
“Umm . . . I’ve got nothing.”
– Andrew Petter
“Congratulations and everything, but it kind of seems like a waste of time to me. Why didn’t you just start a band called the Rolling Stones?”
-Mick Jagger
“Live long and proper.”
-Subpar Leonard Nimoy Impersonator
