Over the last few decades, pornography has essentially gone from almost nothing to an enormous industry. Pornography is now available to any human being with access to the internet. It also enjoys a near 100 per cent saturation rate among young men, and only slightly lower rate of saturation among older men.
Most men find pornography irresistible, and impossible to ignore. The level of stimulation that pornography provides men is beyond most other sources of stimulation, except for perhaps real sex, ironically. Most young men I meet seem to think that it would be stupid not to look at porn. “It doesn’t hurt anybody,” they say. Or more disturbingly, many men say that it’s impossible to stop looking at porn, and who cares anyway?
So let me ask you: is porn really so harmless? Should we just “normalize” porn and let it become a regular part of life? Recently, a TEDtalk on the effects of pornography surfaced. It was conducted by a scientist named Gary Wilson. He essentially argued that addiction to pornography is no different than many other addictions. He also argued that long-term use of pornography can have negative consequences on male psychology, and male libido.
Now, there’s substantial criticism of this argument. Notably, an article was published in The Peak two weeks ago essentially arguing that Wilson was wrong, and that porn should be brought into the mainstream.
Wilson may not be completely right, but too much of what he says is all too true. His argument ties into a much-cited argument of Naomi Wolf, published in NY Magazine in 2003.
Wolf argued that the real problem with porn is the damage it does to the relationship between men and women. When men regularly view internet porn, they begin to view women differently. More accurately, ordinary women aren’t good enough anymore. Ordinary women don’t look like porn-stars, nor do they do the things that porn-stars do. Ordinary women can’t compete with the thrill and novelty of online pornography. Further, Wolf argued that pornography is increasing the distance between men and women.
Now add the fact that using pornography promotes the destructive, big-corporate porn industry. Supporting the porn industry is a morally questionable act, no matter what your point of view on ethics. On top of all that, according to a study cited by CNN, there is proof to show that 56 per cent of divorces in America involve one partner that compulsively uses pornography.
If we assume that sex is simply a human need — much like food — then pornography should absolutely be normalized. But if we see it as something more, as something that is special and beautiful between two loving people, then pornography must be a destructive force.
It is very difficult to say that pornography will lead to better relationships between men and women, in general. Some men may think otherwise, but I would imagine that the vast majority of women would agree.
So here’s my challenge to men. Stop looking at porn. Life is more than just satisfying your primal needs. Go out, meet real women, and take the time to build real relationships with them, by loving, cherishing and caring for them. They’re worth it.
And don’t kid yourself. Porn isn’t harmless.
