By: Osna Hadef, SFU Student
Is it just me, or has Metro Vancouver’s public transit system gone to the dogs lately? All while the fares are expected to keep rising? The sheer audacity, man!
Before diving into more complaining, I acknowledge that we have a functioning public transport system. We can get anywhere around Metro Vancouver, as long as you’re not afraid of three or more transfers between different modes of transportation and 20 minutes of walking.
That being said, we are a world behind transit systems like Japan’s — not only are the buses and trains spotless and high-tech, but the operators literally apologize publicly to passengers for slight inconveniences. I, too, demand a formal apology, a deep bow, and perhaps a small compensatory snack whenever my bus is late, and especially if it has departed early!
Let’s play Never have I ever and see how many of these issues you poor beings have also experienced as riders.
Never have I ever . . . run late because the bus/SkyTrain was not on time
Classic one. You left early, planned ahead, and still made it late because the ride was late or was cancelled entirely! Maybe it’s some “fashionably late” trend among the drivers and operators that we’re unaware of.
Never have I ever . . . had a bus driver ignore me at the bus stop
You waited 10 minutes for a bus, stood up ready for it, only to — WHOOSH! — zoom past you like your mom didn’t give birth to you, and you do not exist.
Never have I ever . . . not been able to catch a bus because it left minutes early
Life happens. Sometimes, a bus leaving two minutes early will cost you half the wage you work that day. I had to Uber to work, not once but TWICE! The bus I had to switch to left earlier than scheduled leaving me stranded for the next 30 minutes.
Never have I ever . . . not been able to get on a bus/SkyTrain because people by the doors refused to move
There is space right there in the back and the middle, but these cold-hearted people, instead of moving there to make space, just . . . leave you hanging outside in the cold with teary eyes.
Never have I ever . . . been blocked by people who did not let the passengers get off first
You are so excited to finally reach your stop and be home soon. You try to exit, but a wall of impatient humans pushing you back has other plans for you — they want you to get off at the next stop.
Never have I ever . . . almost missed my stop because no one made way for me to get off
Exiting the bus or SkyTrain during rush hour feels like a scene out of an action movie that keeps you on edge. To reach the exit, the main character must unleash their superpowers — shoving, squeezing, and pushing past a sea of relentless antagonists.
Never have I ever . . . ignored an older person to keep your seat
You look anywhere but towards them, pretending you haven’t seen them because you’re so absorbed in the magnificent view — of traffic. Do you relate? Tsk tsk. If so, you’re so cringe.
Never have I ever . . . seen someone sneak onto the bus without paying and pretend nothing happened
They so nonchalantly get in and pick themselves a seat by the window to enjoy the free tour in their $500k vehicle with a private chauffeur.
Never have I ever . . . experienced the entire transit system become non-functioning after 2 centimetres of snow
Every single year! A light dusting of snow, and suddenly, it’s the apocalypse.
Never have I ever . . . stepped on a mystery pool of spilled liquid on the floor of the bus/SkyTrain
You tell yourself it is a spilled coffee or some type of drink. You hope it’s just spilled coffee or some type of drink.
Never have I ever . . . been hit by a fellow passenger’s backpack
It is rush hour and the bus/train is packed. Someone still refuses to take off their giant backpack — Bang! Bang! — smacking everyone around.
Results
If you have experienced 0–3, lucky you, you seem to have rarely used transit. If you got 4–7 I haves, you know the struggle is real. And if you got 8–11 I haves, I have good news — our transit system sucks!
