Home Humour Horoscopes July 1–7

Horoscopes July 1–7

I am judging you based on your manga collection

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ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

By: Michelle Young, Copy Editor

Aries
March 21–April 1
Isekai this, isekai that. Everything you own is isekai because you deeply relate to boring protagonists with no personality, and use manga for wish fulfilment. I promise if you were thrown into another world, you would die instantly and five beautiful women would not fall in love with you.

Taurus
April 20–May 20
Not to sound like every person who has ever seen your collection, but keeping all your manga  bagged does not entirely prevent yellowing. You are committed to making your shelves look like a store, and every time you pick up anything, it is loud and crinkly. Don’t worry; I support your decision to store your manga however you want! However, I do have a tip: try sleeves.

Gemini
May 21–June 20
You love that sweet, sweet shoujo (with a splash of josei). You are dedicated. You have the Tokyopop version and Collector’s edition of Fruits Basket, the full set of Nana, Kimi ni Todoke, and the bilingual and Japanese volumes of Chihayafuru. Friendship and romance are your favourite things to read about because they fulfill the unmet emotional needs in your reality. Also, you are sick of no one realizing Skip to Loafer is a seinen

Cancer
June 21–July 22
You are the devil, and Gemini’s worst enemy. You have a giant and basic collection of shounen that you accumulated in one month. You haven’t read any of it, and it is all the same as everyone else: Naruto, Attack on Titan, Spy x Family, and Chainsaw Man. You ask people to “give you recommendations” based on your collection, but you have no taste. You also have no idea what demographics are, and think they are genres instead (not all shoujo is romance, and you probably hate women!). 

Leo
July 23–August 22
Leo, bless your soul. You’re a newbie collector and everything confuses you. You don’t understand demographics either and you are overly paranoid about “fakes,” despite only purchasing from licensed distributors. No, your One Piece isn’t fake — it’s just poor quality control. 

Virgo
August 23–September 22
You are a dedicated yuri fan. You buy Japanese volumes before they are even licensed in English and will violently defend Bloom Into You and The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn’t a Guy at All to anyone who critiques them. This is probably because you cannot work up the courage to ask out a girl yourself! I admire how you proudly flaunt your love for Citrus (despite it being trash), but I highly recommend you read something by Milk Morinaga

Libra
September 23–October 22
You are a mess. You have been collecting for years, and still have no shelves. There are like 300 volumes in your office, and somehow you’ve managed to stack them all on top of each other. You are either oblivious to the fact that this could damage the spines, or you don’t care. Clearly, you haven’t read anything in years because who would when they are stored like that? 

Scorpio
October 23–November 21
Ah, Scorpio. Did you think I was going to compliment you for your “non-basic” taste? Wrong. You’re not much better than Cancer — seinen is your bread and butter. You are pretentious as hell and love almost anything by Inio Asano, but refuse to expand your taste outside of “philosophical” manga. Also, you most definitely have a figurine collection of Rei Ayanami.  

Sagittarius
November 22–December 21
Sagittarius, you are actually so cute. You have a very balanced and mixed manga collection, and your shelf is filled with miscellaneous plushies and figurines. I don’t know how you read anything with so many things blocking your manga, but I do know you could write an essay on queer representation in Sailor Moon — I see your HaruMichi shrine on the top shelf. 

Capricorn
December 22–January 19
You are god because you have the full English set of Mushishi. You also probably found it at a random, rural bookstore for a ridiculously low price. Now the whole manga community hates you because the rest of us will probably never run into a seller who doesn’t know the value of what they’re selling. 

Aquarius
January 20–February 18 
I thought Sagittarius was bad, but you are so much worse with your little anime girl figurines. They are blocking the view of your entire shelf, and I can’t see anything. I don’t even know how you dust them without knocking everything over. Most of your figure collection is just Homura Akemi. Call me when you need to sell everything because you are desperate for money. 

Pisces
February 19–March 20
You are still deeply and emotionally connected to the manga from your teen years. You have the full set of Haikyuu!! and reading it always makes you cry. You were also obsessed with Free! when it aired in 2013 (of course you were; it’s a swimming anime), and naturally collected the light novel it was based on. This also makes you cry. 

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