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CONFESSIONALS: I take a moment of silence after making a large purchase to make peace with the money I have let slip away

My bank account hates me

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ILLUSTRATION: Cliff Ebora / The Peak

By: Yulissa Huamani, SFU student

Every time I leave the house, I promise myself I will only buy something if it’s absolutely necessary. Something that still surprises me a lot is that taxes are added at the end of a purchase. The price tag on everything is a lie! This may sound dramatic, but I shake in my boots whenever I pay a bill. It feels good to make large purchases until I open my online banking app. To avoid this, I pay with cash. Then, the product is basically free since the numbers in my account didn’t go down. 

While this may seem contradictory to my point about cash (because it is), my best financial strategy consists of buying things online instead of going to the store. Think about it; if we include the price of transportation to just get there, it is worth it (at least, that is what I tell myself). But then it’s impossible to just get one item because I need to buy at least seven for free shipping. 

I strongly believe my life has changed since I heard, “You only live once,” for the first time. But I don’t know if it changed for the better or . . . Life’s too short not to buy every item that has a cat or raccoon image on it. Sometimes, you gotta spoil yourself before reflecting in a corner of your room while asking yourself, “Why am I like this?” Only then can you move forward to cry about assignments instead.

But don’t get me wrong, these are necessary purchases. Like that one concert ticket you buy during an existential crisis or that 2:00 a.m. fast food delivery you didn’t even get to eat because it got devoured in seconds outside your residence by the little masked thieves who had the audacity to show off their smile while eating the fries. 

As a person that is obsessed with many animals or weird shapes and colors I feel the necessity of “investing” in my happiness. Such as buying socks with cats on them or buying an excessively overpriced notebook that I saw “on discount.” Again, this is me gaslighting myself that it is a necessary purchase. It makes my heart happy but low-key destroys my consciousness. However, birthday money is such a relief. It allows me to feel rich for at least five minutes before running into a store. I believe that another one of the greatest joys in life is to find a dollar laying on a muddy street. I remember almost getting rolled over by the Metrotown bus for collecting a nickel. Anyways, it was amazing.

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