By: Amrit Kamaal, Peak Associate
You made sure to attend each stall to scoop up all the freebies. You had to sweet-talk for some of them, but you’re not above that. Of course, that sweetness is a front. You run a stan account on Twitter for, in your words, “a very underrated artist,” and you will defend their honour on the platform with everything you’ve got. When you’re not having one-sided beef with your fave’s rival, you’re working on a new fancam. Maybe it’s time to take your own advice and touch some grass because your page has more stolen insults than a group chat full of tweens learning to cuss.
Username: GucciFloraArtistName
Bio: Spreading love and positivity insert laughing cat emoji
3x noticed by my queen
insert random lyric about how many bitches hate you
You romanticize university life a bit too much, taking an exaggerated breath in to “soak it all in.” You commute over two hours daily to whichever campus furthest from you purely to “study,” pretending you’re Rory Gilmore walking around in the cold with your Blenz coffee. Of course, your Twitter consists of dimly lit pictures and a poem based on a quote from your PSYC 100 lecture talking about “we’re so similar but different.” Your captions and bios consist of the most random emoji combos just because you like the colour. Maybe if you actually attended your English lectures, your poems about your hallway crush might actually get some recognition.
Username: BloomingLilliesInMySoul
Bio: Another person’s place
“The place where flowers come to grow”
emoji combo of a goose, a bathtub, a poodle, and a white heart
If you claim you weren’t a band kid, an anime kid, or even both, you are lying to yourself. This is your favourite event because you can unintentionally wreak as much havoc as possible, constantly repeating phrases you’ve heard on TikTok over a million times in an attempt to be “humorous” with club leaders. You definitely own a flop meme page, constantly tweeting and retweeting overdone memes remixed with loud screams and CupcakKe songs. Unfortunately, it also impacts your social interactions in person because asking to study abroad at “Ellie and Mason’s house” isn’t the move that you think it is.
Username: FlopTropica69
Bio: WhAt i dO insert purple heart
Not me in my flop era I—,
