test
Home Humour Renting alone? In this housing market?

Renting alone? In this housing market?

No bedroom but AMAZING vibes!

0
PHOTO: Max Böhme / Unsplash

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer

BEAUTIFUL 0 bed 0 bath apartment in Downtown Vancouver! 

Channel your inner downtown material girl, and rent this beautiful private apartment in the heart of Vancouver! Situated only steps away from Waterfront station, you’ll enjoy 400-square-feet of space that treats you to scenic views of Coal Harbour from the 35th floor of the building (elevator not included). Minimum 25-month lease. 

Your favourite part of this apartment will definitely be the door! With only one doorknob, this unique feature allows for complete privacy from others within the building (limited locking capacity, key not included). You’ll also love the windows, which are included in the monthly rent. 

The excellent floor plan, designed specifically by us, sees that convenience is king in this apartment. Not only will you be able to sleep in your living space — you won’t have to worry about getting up to use the bathroom! The toilet and sink, which both work properly, can be found beside the refrigerator. One of the nicest amenities of this apartment is the state-of-the-art shower curtain! 

Access to public transportation is only a couple blocks away — by “blocks,” we mean roadblocks, since there’s always some construction going on down here. Renting this apartment will also give you access to one underground parking space (only available on Thursdays, Sundays, and Wednesdays, as the other days are rented out to a different tenant — space downtown is expensive nowadays, you know!) 

The ample balcony space (6ft) allows for just enough room to entertain you and your closest friend! (Your closest friend being your neighbour, with whom you’ll share the balcony). As there are very few warm months in Vancouver, we’ve taken the liberty of removing the air conditioning from the apartment, reducing your monthly fee by a whopping 2%. Talk about being the hottest commodity! 

This apartment is ideal for students. Not only do the grey walls resemble SFU classrooms, but it’s also an exceptionally reasonable $4,500 per month (move-in and strata fees not included). 

If downtown living isn’t your vibe, check out our next posting! 

Quaint, PRIVATE 1 bed 5 bath cottage with lots of privacy! 

Step away from the hustle and bustle of the city and enjoy the gorgeous views of nature from our quaint cottage. Only (236) minutes away from the local market, this house puts you directly in the thick of the countryside, where you can truly connect with nature. Space reigns supreme here, with at least 500-square-feet of land belonging solely to you! (And us, since we’re the owners — but you don’t have to worry about that). This living space will allow you to truly reach deep and discover your roots as a citizen of planet Earth. 

Unlike a small apartment, this house comes with not one but TWO doors! The main entrance has one doorknob, while the back door has three. Keys only work at the main entrance. Moreover, to gain a better appreciation of nature, this house only has one window, which is located in the second bathroom on the second floor. Go outside and touch grass; there’s plenty of it around you! 

This house boasts some of the best kitchen floors in the world. Made from an oiled, varnished, and panelled cedar, the hardwood will ensure that you only slip on it a couple of times a week rather than every day — just make sure you wear socks with grippies

Rent for this house comes to $2,136 per month, with a $1000 increase per guest. $3000 fine if entering the basement — if you come in the basement while activities are in process, talk to us, and we can reach an agreement. 

NO COMMENTS

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Exit mobile version