A Guide to Dropping Classes

First-year students, academic underachievers, and those experiencing memory loss related to the trauma of last semester are especially prone to be lulled into a false sense of security after a week free from tutorials, homework, or soul-crushing monotony.

If this sounds like you, or if you are a member of the not-so-small minority of students guilty of drunk-enrolling, you may find that the schedule you have “chosen” (read: desperately scrounged together thanks to your shitty enrollment date) is simply too overwhelming to undertake.

Luckily, we at The Peak have prepared this handy guide for choosing which class you should drop!

  • The fun elective
  • Why to keep: Have something you always wanted to learn about but never got the chance in high school? Well, now you have the opportunity to pay a ridiculous amount of money to have that subject or skill ruined for you by learning in a university setting.
  • Why to drop: Today, you’re putting off a required course to take an elective. Tomorrow, you’re in your fourth, fifth, or sixth year, still needing 50 more credits to graduate. Inevitably, you’ll realize that everybody in this class who majors in the subject is better than you — not just as a student, but as a person with intrinsic worth — and that there’s nothing you can do to change that.  You’ll then return to your own major, where your need for acceptance will lead you to a future of Stockholm Syndrome.
  • The GPA booster
    • Why to keep: When exams end and those disappointing emails from uRecords have you worrying about whether you’re still allowed to drink on academic probation, you are going to want that guaranteed A- (like you’ll actually try for an A, come on) so that your parents don’t disown you. Also, if that cute fellow student you sit with is desperate enough to take this class, maybe they’d lower their personal standards for you, too.
    • Why to drop: You still gotta get the work done. Also, everyone has painstakingly researched which classes are GPA boosters, so you risk withstanding judgement from those forced to take a real schedule.
  • The boring major requirement
    • Why to keep: Don’t let today be the yesterday where you said tomorrow; just do it! This course is standing between you and your degree; there is no way around it. Everyone who goes through your program has to withstand this snore fest on methods or writing or whatever, so you might as well tough it out and get it over with.

Why to drop: There has to be some way out. Maybe the department will change the required courses; maybe a new prof will take over and make it not such a terrible class. You could intentionally get hit by a car and apply for a compassionate pass, or just cross your fingers and hope that the collapse of human society occurs in the next three months. And you can always switch majors, right?

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