How to survive dead, dry, and dreary lectures

By: Kathy Mak

It’s always easy to get through the first two weeks of school because it flies by in the blink of an eye. However, once we’re here on a Monday morning in the fifth week, things aren’t as pretty. Even that grande cup of Starbucks espresso ain’t enough to keep you awake. So, to help you get past one, two, or three torturous hours of tedious lectures, we at The Peak compiled a mini list of fun and adventurous activities that are worth trying out to keep your eyes from drying out!

Go about your business with your hangnails

You’re sitting in your chair — leaning back, half listening to your prof yap — when suddenly, you know something’s wrong with that stinking shoe of yours. You pull out your foot and fuck, a two-inch hangnail is protruding out of your sock! You slap your heel onto the chair in front of you, lean forward, grasp the bastard with your teeth, and riiiiip! Then you wedge the hangnail between your teeth, track down the lone soul that’s going to suffer your wrath, and blow! You’ve scored your three-pointer of the day!

Compose the world’s greatest symphony

Do – re – mi – fa – so – la – ti – do . . . What better way is there to spend your precious time than to use those creative juices of yours? First, lay two or three books on your desk. Then, start slapping a constant 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 pattern with your hands. After that, stomp with your feet at the first and third beat. What’s left is for you to enjoy it! Close your eyes, sway your hips, and fully free yourself from the murderous glares of your classmates and your professor.

Surf the web

This has got to be the number one most common thing I’ve seen people do. Laptops, tablets, and cellphones all lit up like Christmas. From YouTube to Facebook to Instagram to EVEN, occasionally, Canvas! While you surf, don’t forget to check out the latest vacation hotspots, because the second you’re out of here, that’s where you’re going next.

Freshen up

OMG! Is that a spot/zit/pimple (or whatever you call it) on . . . me? For all you drama kings and queens out there, this is the perfect way to pass the time! Take out your makeup kits, razors, and detergents — and freshen up! It’s a great way to save time, especially when you’ve got a cute date right after the lecture.

When all else fails to please you, catch up on some beauty sleep. But if you wake up and find yourself in a deep pool of wet slimy saliva . . . congrats to you.