How to be original

By: Tiffany Chang

Blast “Despacito” in your car

There’s no doubt that “Despacito” is a super catchy song. So, despite the video having 3.9 billion views on YouTube (which is over half the world’s population), listening to the Luis Fonsi tune will totally make you stand out from the crowd (of 3.9 billion)! I mean, it’s not like everyone has flubbed the Spanish lyrics while trying to sing along to Justin Bieber’s part, right? Despacito, quiero. . . something. . . something. . . DespacitoOooOO! People driving in the surrounding cars will stare at you in awe and wonder. Playing the most popular song right now is the absolute epitome of originality, don’t you think? This idea has the Spanish word for ‘original’ written (but misspelt) all over it.  

Buy Starbucks before, during, and after class

“You spelt my name wrong!” You immediately shout as the barista hands you your third, fourth, or maybe even fifth coffee serving of the day. Let’s be completely honest here — what sleep-deprived university student survives on coffee? Do students even know what coffee is? What university student has gone to the doctor to get a blood test, only to find that caffeinated beverages are running through their veins? Keep drinking your body weight in coffee every morning, afternoon, and night! Continue going to Starbucks to live the “unique” lifestyle! You be “you!”

Wear a hoodie, any hoodie

Hoodies are great. They keep you warm and make you look extremely cool! Do you want to be a hipster and start a trend that clearly needs to happen? Start wearing hoodies! No one wears hoodies these days — it’s all about those fancy schmancy “sweaters” or whatever people call them. Buy a hoodie from TNA and parade around to show off your extra special garment. It will make people green with envy. Everyone is going to want to wear hoodies, too — just you wait!

Get the new iPhone
Have you ever heard of the technology company Apple before? What’s this? You haven’t? Well have I got great news for you! They are coming out with a brand new and super hip cellular phone! It’s called the “iPhone X.” Now, the phone isn’t going to be released until November, but make sure to save up all your money for it. Or, more realistically, ask your parents to get it for you. All of your friends and families’ minds are about to get blown out of their heads! I can just imagine it now: “Wow . . . That’s beyond awesome! Can I try using it? I’ve never tried that phone before.” I guarantee that this phone will be your magical key to authenticity.