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SFU’s legacy song finalists, ranked

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Have you ever been on campus at an event or a convocation and thought, man, I wish SFU had an official school song? Well, me neither, but the team behind our school’s 50th anniversary celebrations have introduced a contest to choose one anyways. Despite opposition, the Legacy Song Contest has whittled down its 35 entries to six, one of which will gain the honour of becoming SFU’s school song a full half-century post mortem. If I’m going to be forced to sing one of these things at my own convocation, you’d better believe I’m going to vote for my favourite.

Voting closes tomorrow, so if you’re not sure which song to support, The Peak has ranked each finalist from best to worst for your convenience.

  1. “Make a Simon Fraser U” by Brendan Bernardo

First impressions: The eighties are alive and well at SFU. I’m getting a bit of a “Piano Man” vibe, but with cheesy synths and a stuttering tempo and less charm. Seriously, there’s something wrong with the tempo on this one. I feel like I’m watching an infomercial on local access cable, and not the funny kind.

Sounds like: The song they play over Scientology recruitment tapes.

Verdict: The singer really sells it, but there’s just not enough material here to make for a good school song. Most of the lyrics seem like thrown-in references to check off a list, and the chorus at the end doesn’t really make sense. I don’t know how to make a Simon Fraser U, and I don’t think I want to know.

  1. “Engage the World” by Caleb Sung and Brett Janzen

First impressions: Oh lord, those strings. For real? How would we ever actually perform this thing? I get that the whole pounding-drum thing is supposed to be inspirational, but I just end up thinking this sounds more like Christian rock for rebellious teenagers. I can see why this song has so many votes, but it just leaves me cold. Extra points for the “native land” reference, though.

Sounds like: The biggest hit Disney song since “Let It Go.”

Verdict: There’s some talented musicianship going on here, but this one is just a little too cheesy for me. Still, it’s not the worst.

  1. “We’re SFU (We Are)” by Mubanga Clifford Ngosa

First impressions: Okay, the soft guitar in the background is pretty lame, but you’ve got to love the way he rhymes SFU with “red and blue” — those are totally our colours! There’s even an engage bomb. It’s a little slow paced to imagine actually singing it at an event, and I doubt a crowd of bored students could ever pull off those vocal harmonies. The untrained singing voice is actually pretty endearing, though.

Sounds like: A mediocre Jeff Buckley cover band on open mic night.

Verdict: Meh. It’s short, which is a plus, and the lyrics have that perfect balance between jingoistic collectivist fervour and rugged individualism. I’m not totally sold on the tempo, but you could always speed it up and add an awesome guitar solo at the end. In fact, every song on this list should have an awesome guitar solo.

  1. “We Are SFU” by Daniel Moxon

First impressions: This guy can totally sing! Dang. Again, not sure what the deal is with these slow tempos — shouldn’t we be upbeat and happy about our school? — but I think it captures the whole engaging-the-world thing pretty well. It doesn’t really go anywhere, which can be good or bad depending on what sort of mood you want to convey.

Sounds like: Sam Smith backed by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

Verdict: As far as school songs go, you could do a lot worse. I can see myself singing this thing half-seriously, even. Getting sick of the “we are SFU” metaphor, though.

  1. “We Are All SFU” by Rich Chambers

First impressions: Whoa, talk about a fast tempo. This is what I’m talking about. Some cute lyrics and a fun call-and-response chorus make this one very likeable. It kind of seems like a cross between a kindergarten song and a sea shanty, which describes SFU pretty well, I think.

Sounds like: A pub singalong starring Joe Strummer and Raffi.

Verdict: It’s almost two minutes long, which makes it a little unrealistic for a school song, but this one has lots of personality and the energy that’s missing from a lot of the other finalists. But seriously, can we not think of any other title for a school song?

  1. “SFU (A Flag Unfurled)” by Adam Janis

First impressions: Okay, I like this one. I like it a lot. The lyrics are pretty bad, but so are the ones from all the other songs, and he rhymed “best in you” with SFU, which is either the greatest or worst thing ever. I like the whoas — they seem like a good way to get the crowd involved even if they don’t know the words — and I really like that the song doesn’t say “we’re SFU.” It doesn’t even say it once. At this point, that’s enough for me.

Sounds like: The Police reimagined as an indie rock one-hit-wonder.

Verdict: This one will never win the popular vote, but it won my heart. I like the ska vibe, and it’s the only song that stayed stuck in my head for hours after I listened. It’s a tough call, but this one takes the cake for me.

The judges: Apart from voters, the judges for the competition include Anne Giardini, SFU’s chancellor, and Enoch Weng, president of the SFSS, and accomplished musician in his own right.

The prize: The winner of the contest will receive $2,500 and a chance to perform their song for a live audience at SFU’s 50th anniversary celebration in September. Two runners-up will receive $500 and an inferiority complex.

The controversy: One of our writers publicly spoke out against the contest, arguing that SFU’s status as a radical school precluded us from adopting something as traditional as a school song. My problem with the contest has more to do with the fact that the winning song will instantly become SFU’s intellectual property, meaning the composer basically gives up all rights to authorship and future revenue. Thanks, neoliberalism!

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