It’s that time of year again, guys — it’s summer. For most, this means less time spent on work and school, and more time spent soaking up the sun, sipping margaritas and shooting the breeze with friends. You’ve basically got two options: get out there and make memories with friends and family, or have so much fun that you barely remember a thing.
As it turns out, music festivals are the perfect place for both. If you’re having trouble deciding which music festivals to check out this year, fear not! The Peak, as always, has got yo’ back. Here are seven different fests to check out this summer, and what to expect at each one.
CBC Music Festival
Deer Lake Park, Burnaby, BC
June 14
Headliners: Tegan and Sara, Dan Mangan, Spoon, Hannah Georgas, Chad Vangaalen, and the Arkells
The Stereotypes: Can you say hipster? Oh, don’t get your feathers ruffled if you’re going. Exclaiming that you aren’t a hipster only makes you seem like more of one. Expect plenty of unique clothing choices, glasses that almost certainly aren’t prescription, plenty of bikes, some semi-ironic facial hair, and more than a few pairs of suspenders.
What to Wear: This festival is one of the few out there where most of the fads aren’t gender specific: tilley hats of any and all colours, bow ties, and high socks — the higher, the better. Plenty of patterns! Think Hawaiian, floral, argyle, stripes, polka dots, you name it. Anything and everything necessary to make an outfit louder.
Tips and Tricks: Consider tie-dyeing your blanket for this one. It can be a bit expensive, but it’ll serve as a constant reminder of the CBC Music Festival spirit. A white sheet, a pack of dye from Michaels, and a whole lot of elastics are all you’ll need. If you want it to come out, well, I’d give yourself at least an hour. One of biggest upsides of a tie-dyed blanket: you can stain it endlessly, and no one will be any the wiser. After all, we all get a little sloshy and spill more than usual when the sun is out and we’re having fun.
Tickets: They’re still on sale, and pretty reasonable, too.
Dawson City Music Festival
Dawson City, YT
July 18 to 20
Headliners: The Rural Alberta Advantage, Alex Cuba, Nick Ferrio & His Feelings, Cousins, Jaffa Road, and Feeding Frenzy
The Stereotypes: At this festival, you’ll meet the ultimate combination of hippie and hipster (hippie-ster?). For this rare species, anything and everything which is popular is no longer appreciated, and society at large is also on the wrong track — too much machinery, not enough campfires. These forest-dwellers think nature is the only thing that is right and true, and this festival, set in the natural landscape of the Yukon with a wealth of underground Canadian acts, is basically their Woodstock.
What to Wear: Hemp, birks, and thick hiking socks. If the weather gets you down, throw on a waterproof shell and some home-knit sweaters — although, if you’re not prepared to deal with the elements, this might not be the festival for you. Scarves, especially scratchy ones, are also essential.
Tips and Tricks: Knit a sweater! Doesn’t matter if you don’t know your way around a needle and thread — honestly, the more awkward-looking and haphazard, the more indie cred you’re likely to receive. Some food for thought: if you make a container lined with dryer sheets, it releases no smell. Just saying.
Tickets: Still plenty left, and the weekend passes are more affordable than most — that is, if you’re willing to head to the Yukon.
Lollapalooza
Grant Park, Chicago, IL
August 1 to 3
Headliners: Skrillex, OutKast, Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon, Foster the People, Lorde, and Eminem
The Stereotypes: If you’re a club rat and/or your car’s subwoofer can be felt two blocks over, this is the festival for you. Sure, there’ll be plenty of normal people, but the majority of concertgoers will be diehard bros and all the girls you think of when you hear the song “#SELFIE,” throwing a rowdy party worthy of the festival’s impressive headliners. I know which festival I’m going to.
What to Wear: Here’s your holy trinity for the weekend: bright, tight, and fun. Get your tie-dye and your fake Ray Bans. Whatever you wear, cut out huge arm holes. Make sure to over-accessorise. More is more! Big earrings, bracelets all the way up the arm, rings on every finger, and enough necklaces to give you whiplash.
Tips and Tricks: How to two-tone tie-dye for next to nothing: Get a cheap T-shirt you like, and a bunch of elastics. Take and twist as many chunks of fabric as you can and wrap them in elastics as tightly as possible. Once you’re happy with your lumpy rubber piece of fabric, dump and leave it in a bucket of bleach overnight. In the morning wash it, and tah dah!
Tickets: The only ones left for sale are Platinum Passes, which include meals, air conditioned rooms and access to lounge areas with the artists, all for a whopping $3,600. Unless you’re rolling in it, check out Craigslist.
Pemberton Music Festival
Mount Currie, Pemberton, BC
July 18 to 20
Headliners: Deadmau5, Nine Inch Nails, Outkast, Snoop Dogg (or is it Snoop Lion?), Kendrick Lamar, Modest Mouse, Blondie, and Metric
The Stereotypes: Of all the festivals listed here, Pemberton will probably have the widest range of subcultures, especially considering how many people bought tickets before the list of artists was even released. There will be bros, ravers, stoners, folkies, neckbeards, metalheads, hip-hop geeks, crust punks, and everything in between. Rest assured, you’ll find your people.
What to Wear: Pemberton has finally returned after a lengthy four-year hiatus, and the rule of thumb is pretty much anything goes. As little clothing as possible will be common, especially for the ladies. Bikinis, and all that is skintight, will be common. Oversized shirts are optional, and ripped jean shorts are a must. So grab your snapbacks and any clothing with pictures of weed on it, and get ready for a party.
Tips and Tricks: Damage your denim. Seriously, go nuts. Grab your car and run over your jeans. Bang them on the ground, drag them over gravel, cut a dotted line at the knees and tear them apart. Buy a white bikini and customize it, maybe with your favourite artist’s logo — if they notice you wearing it, hey, who knows what’ll happen?
Tickets: The early birds are all sold out, but there’s still plenty of passes left.
Pitchfork Music Festival
Union Park, Chicago, IL
July 18 to 20
Headliners: Beck, Neutral Milk Hotel, Kendrick Lamar, Grimes, St. Vincent, Deafheaven, Real Estate, and Pusha T
The Stereotypes: Less boho than you might expect, the Pitchfork Music Festival is still pretty much synonymous with the type of Williamsburg PBR sippin’ hipsters your mom warned you about. Thankfully, big name hip-hop stars such as Pusha T and Kendrick Lamar might attract a more down to earth crowd — if you’re looking to avoid a parade of ironic mustaches, cheap cigarettes and arguments about which Pavement record is the best one, try your best to blend in with the rap fans.
What to Wear: Non-prescription glasses, as much armpit hair as you can grow, and your most sarcastic expression are all a must at all times. If you’ve got a T-shirt in the back of your closet that’s just a little too small, bring it along. To blend in with the locals, roll up your pant sleeves until you can barely walk, and hold off from shampooing your hair for at least a week before the festival begins. Herbal cigarettes are icing on the cake.
Tips and Tricks: This festival’s all about local, so make sure to bring a little extra cash to spend on craft beer, designer apparel and fair trade cappuccinos. If you’re looking to avoid looks of disdain, resist the urge to hit up a Starbucks or Wal-Mart in between sets. To make a flower crown, just pick around six to ten flowers (daisies work best) and tie them together at the stems. Alternatively, make one in advance by gluing fake flowers to a headband the same colour as your hair.
Tickets: Fairly cheap at 60 bucks per day, although the full weekend passes are already sold out, check out Craigslist.
Squamish Valley Music Festival
Logger Sports Grounds, Squamish, BC
August 8 to 10
Headliners: Eminem, Bruno Mars, Arcade Fire, Serena Ryder, Arctic Monkeys, Nas, and The Roots
The Stereotypes: Expect all those who claim they “love rap” but, when asked which rappers they enjoy, can only name Eminem off the top of their heads. You’re also sure to find overly enthusiastic Bruno Mars fans who’ve done enough Internet studying to pretend they like the other artists. Finally, look for plenty of very excited yet clearly underage music fans claiming they are “definitely 20, of course I am, why would you even ask,” while they stumble aimlessly across the grass.
What to Wear: Anything stereotypically summer-y is appropriate. Ladies, throw on a daisy crown and some custom jean shorts, and you’re good to go. Gentlemen, no matter how many gym days you may have missed this past year, just throw on a tank top and something neon coloured.
Tips and Tricks: Squamish is a festival which — at least in my experience — the police tend to frequent pretty much as often as the fans. I would suggest doing a little Youtube research in preparation. Specifically, look for a video teaching you how to make any can you want look like a can of Coke. Of course, I’m only suggesting this method to cover cans of Sprite or coconut milk — just what are you implying?
Tickets: Most passes are still available, but a few weekend passes are sold out. Get ‘em while they’re hot!
Watershed Festival
Gorge Amphitheatre, George, WA
August 1 to 3
Headliners: Tim Mcgraw, Lady Antebellum, Cassadee Pope, Jake Owen, Kip Moore, and Billy Currington
The Stereotypes: Expect anyone who owns a dog, a pickup truck, and perhaps a tractor. Just hope they don’t actually bring it. This festival is for men who care for a story in their songs, ladies who shake it for Luke (Bryan, that is), and every hick this side of the Rocky Mountains in a cowboy hat. Red solo cups and red necks abound.
What to Wear: Cowgirls, think of painting an American flag on your daisy dukes. Men and women should make sure sure to bring their denim shirts, and as much plaid as possible. A cowboy hat or a bolo tie won’t hurt, either. However, keep your cowboy boots at home, unless you want your feet to be swimming in your own sweat.
Tips and Tricks: Do up your denim shorts with a paint brush and some fabric paint. Don’t forget to cut the sleeves off your plaid shirts to keep cool. Finally, what’s a barn-burnin’ country music party without a red solo cup? Why not make your cup unique by personalizing it with stickers, sharpies, or covering it in glitter. Customizing your cup will make it recognisable and easy to find, especially once drink one turns into drink four turns into drink nine.
Tickets: Sold out. Better get your country-loving keister onto Craigslist!
