Here’s a look at some products that our beloved bookstore is having a little trouble selling. Unlike everything else they sell this is some real almost-appropriately-priced merch!
Only God Can Judge Me and Other Flimsy Legal Excuses that Won’t Hold up in Court
$40.95 $9.95
This textbook, written by failed criminology scholar Tupac Shakur, would later inspire a track off his 1996 rap music album All Eyez on Me, although with a shortened title.
“SFU: Female Body Inspector” T-Shirt
$10.99 $2.50
Originally sold during the SFU Bookstore’s “joke tee” phase, this shirt was markedly unpopular especially in comparison with the bestselling “Who Farted at SFU?” and “Simon Fraseringa!” shirts.
Advanced Name-Calling for Shit-Zippers
$42.00 $9.69
This item is leftover from a briefly offered English course on the “Study of Vulgarity and Insolence in Writing”. These were supposed to be sent back to the manufacturer but apparently some “monkey-weasel” lost the receipt.
Misprint “Go Klan Go” Pennant
$22.65 $0.25
With 10,000 currently in stock, these pennants are the result of a massive error by a South Carolina athletic company which refuses to acknowledge the mistake and claims that “none of the other chapters have complained.”
Half-eaten Tuna Sandwich
$??.?? FREE
This was just something that got left in the bookstore’s workroom fridge and no one would cop to it. It’s unclear how old it is or if it’s really tuna (it smells like tuna) but if you want to come get it, it’s yours.
