By: Edna Batengas, Ana Maria Mejia Morales, Sera Akdogan, and Neil MacAlister
“2U” – David Guetta, Justin Bieber
Edna Batengas: Wow, David Guetta, haven’t heard that name in a while. It’s been way too long. Glad to see such talented artists collaborating together. Perfect timing for this song to come out. I can already imagine it playing on all my summer road trips.
Ana Maria Mejia Morales: It’s OK, I guess. I expected more from such big names. The lyrics just seem like a bunch of corny metaphors mashed up together. I do expect to hear it on the radio all summer though.
Sera Akdogan: I’ve always been indifferent when it comes to Justin Bieber. If I hear this on the radio, I probably won’t mind. His tracks are always pretty catchy and fun to listen to with friends.
Neil MacAlister: Bieber has at least been trying to push boundaries lately, but this sounds like any other EDM collab he’s ever done. Personally, I think he should just keep doing songs in Spanish, but that’s just me.
“Inspired” – Miley Cyrus
EB: I don’t want to have to say this, but I TOLD YOU. Whatever was possessing Miley Cyrus has left her alone and gone to Katy Perry. Keep it up, Miley, you’re doing good.
AMMM: This new Miley is raw and naked. I particularly like the violin in the back of the song. This song is fantastic, if anybody had any doubts about her talent, here is proof.
SA: Miley Cyrus went from drugged-out trainwreck to peaceful hippie child. I can just picture her singing this in a field somewhere cross-legged and barefoot in the grass as the wind gently sways around her. Going back to her father’s country roots, I guess.
NM: Remember when Miley’s music was interesting? I actually miss her Dead Petz era now.
“Hey Hey Hey” – Katy Perry
EB: This may come as a surprise to you all, but I’m not a fan of this new Katy Perry. Never thought she was much of a good singer, but her career is just falling before our eyes. Someone stop her.
AMMM: I liked Katy’s classics; they were so catchy, how could you not? I don’t think these new songs are anything like that, they‘re boring, repetitive, and a little bit weird to be honest.
SA: Ugh, no. Make it stop, please. This is so terrible that I can feel my ears bleeding. Am I allowed to press skip on this one?
NM: Every single from Katy’s new album has been progressively worse.
“Doing Me” – RAY BLK
EB: This song has such a jolly and upbeat tune. The beginning has a very Grease vibe to it.
AMMM: Who is this woman?! How did I not know about her?! The voice and rhythm is so smooth. It’s one of those hybrid songs; it works at a party, works when you’re home alone.
SA: This song perfectly expresses how I feel about my fashion/appearance. I could definitely listen to this while I get ready in the morning, though it would make me even later than usual, due to all the underwear dancing that this song makes me want to do.
NM: Gorillaz introduced me to Ray BLK, and I’m really glad they did. I love her delivery, she’s got such an original sound. I’m really into this.
“Unforgettable” – J Hus Remix
EB: Nope, this remix doesn’t do the original justice. It’s way too slow and dreary, you can’t dance to it. This is sad.
AMMM: What is this? It started with a Caribbean beat, I was hella in, and then it all went down into the doom.
SA: This sounds like it was mixed in somebody’s basement with GarageBand or something. I’m not into the generic beats in the background, and the random mix of different voices doesn’t flow well at all.
NM: Whoa, props to French for connecting with J Hus, I really enjoyed his Common Sense album. He’s got this whole grime/dancehall crossover sound that I’m really into. I think I still prefer the Slim Jxmmi remix, though.
“Yellow Light” – Pharrell Williams
EB: LOL, I feel like Pharrell Williams should be the minions’ mascot or spokesperson. I mean, comparing this song to “Happy” from the first movie, I’d give it a 4/10. It’s just not as vibrant and fun as I’d hoped.
AMMM: You know how “Happy” was also in a Despicable Me movie soundtrack? Lets just say Pharrell’s new song is definitely not the equivalent — in a bad way.
SA: Do you remember when Pharrell Williams used to make good music that didn’t appear in children’s movies? Nope, I don’t either.
NM: Pharrell is one of my favourite artists ever, but he really needs to stop doing Despicable Me theme songs. This is garbage.
“African Bad Gyal” – WizKid, Chris Brown
EB: I’m a die-hard WizKid fan. This song was legit written for me. He even gave a shout out to Ugandan girls! Finally some recognition for the beautiful African women! Okay, I really don’t know what Chris Brown was even doing on this track. Didn’t bring much.
AMMM: I have no idea who WizKid is, but this song reminded me of my own Latin reggaeton music, so obviously; I LOVED it. I just wanna get up and dance to this, and it does give recognition to the African body so hell yeah! ‘Bout freakin’ time! And wait, where was Chris Brown in all of this?
SA: So . . . I don’t know about you, but I feel slightly violated after listening to this song. It might also be because I hate Chris Brown with every ounce of my being and it repulses me to know that he is included in this.
NM: Wizkid is awesome, I’m glad Drake brought him to my attention. This is a lot of fun. Chris Brown brought nothing to the song, though, and personally, I’d rather just not hear from him anymore.
“To the Max” – DJ Khaled, Drake
EB: I love Asahd on the cover of this album! I hope one day someone loves me as much as DJ Khaled loves Asahd. Although I have to admit, this song kinda got boring after listening to it for awhile.
AMMM: I don’t have much of an opinion. It’s OK, it just sits in the background while life happens around you.
SA: I shamelessly love Drake, so this was tolerable at first, but then the song just got progressively more intense and annoying. Kind of reminded me of the sped-up track that plays in the background of a crazy game of Dance Dance Revolution. Very strange.
NM: “Only say ‘I love you’ just so I can hear it back.” Now that’s a quintessential Drake lyric. It’s no “For Free,” but Khaled and Drake have a decent streak going, and I’m digging the jook influences. Shout-out to Asahd.
“Aladdin” – Not3s
EB: I’m failing to understand how this guy is anything like Aladdin. Delusional much? #WasteMyTime2017
AMMM: Don’t understand the name, did he mean to give the song an Arabian-vibe thing? He did not. Keep Aladdin and Jasmine out of this.
SA: No, sir, you do not sound anything like Aladdin, and you will never be “fly” like him — unless, of course, you own a magic carpet. Sorry to disappoint.
NM: This is wavey, that beat is insanely smooth. This reminds me of J Hus, actually. I like it.
“Sorceress” – Jordan Rakei
EB: I really enjoyed this one. So chill, really smooth vocals, good vibes all in all.
AMMM: It does have a good beat and a good voice, but it’s just like other 100 top songs on the radio at the moment. What’s new?
SA: This song is pretty sweet, yet boring, at the same time. Jordan obviously wrote it about me, though.
NM: I’ve never heard of this guy, but I really like his voice. The percussion is neat, too, but this song doesn’t go anywhere.
“W.I.L.D” – MY
EB: Girl power track? I mean, it’s OK, I guess. It just lacks originality and it sounds like something Ke$ha would sing
AMMM: Not a fan, too much pop. Way. Too. Much. Pop.
SA: What even. This sounds like every pop song in 2017 ever. When will this end???
NM: I’m getting Paramore vibes from this. It’s alright. Nothing terribly interesting, but I don’t hate it.
“Benz Truck” – Lil Peep
EB: Nope. I’m aware that this is a remix, but truth be told, I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed it either.
AMMM: This is one of the scariest songs I have ever listened to in my life. You know in a horror movie when something bad is going to happen? The beat of this song is what they would use to set the tone.
SA: Only slightly terrifying. This song is creepy and has ruined childhood nursery songs sounds for me.
NM: I tried to get into Lil Peep when he started getting blog attention, but he just sounds like knockoff Bones. The chorus is kinda vibey, but I don’t see myself ever returning to this.
