Top Humour
Famous misquotes and the stories behind them
October 5, 2015Have you ever wondered what the story was behind the little quotes and sayings that populate our day-to-day conversations? No? Too bad, I’ve already started writing the article and you can’t stop this kind of momentum. Read on to learn more about the most commonly used misquotes and malphrases. Also note that while the Humour section is generally reserved for fake news and other funny exaggerations, these origins are 100…
Continue reading
A brief timeline of The Peak‘s first 50 years
October 5, 2015Can you believe your favourite student newspaper turns 50 this issue? To celebrate, we scoured the expansive archives and compiled some of the highs and lows of the last 50 years. We also took a stab at guessing some of…
Continue reading
“We apologize for the accidental police raid on what was revealed to be just a neighbourhood sex dungeon”
September 21, 2015Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for attending this press conference on such short notice. There’s been a lot of chatter and rumours circulating on social media, and we figured it was better to address the recent events directly than have…
Continue reading
Uh oh! Hackers just announced they’re going to leak the names of everyone with a still-active Neopets account
September 14, 2015A team of experienced Internet activists are claiming they’ve hacked the servers of Neopets.com, and will soon be releasing confidential records of every person registered to the site. “Neopets’ child-centric agenda and the features they keep behind a paywall are…
Continue reading
HUMOUR: Courses we’d like to see offered for the upcoming Fall semester
July 13, 2015Last week marked the beginning of course registration for Fall 2015, which means you’ve probably already sifted through the uninteresting crap being force-fed into your timetable. An unfortunate reality is that picking a course load for the next semester quickly…
Continue reading
HUMOUR: Delta plans shutdown of Alex Fraser Bridge for Magic: The Gathering tournament
June 22, 2015Shortly after the cancellation of the widely criticised ‘Om the Bridge,’ another familiar politician, Delta mayor Lois Jackson, announced that the city will be shutting down a different Lower Mainland bridge for a trading card game tournament. “The City of Delta is…
Continue reading
SFU’s bullies to begin accepting Bitcoins
June 8, 2015With the SFU’s bookstores now accepting Bitcoins in exchange for textbooks and other callously over-priced course materials, several campus bullies who regularly beat students up for their lunch money are reporting that they will also be accepting Bitcoins effective immediately.…
Continue reading
Build SFU members revealed to be reptilian aliens, vow revenge on decision to reject debenture
February 2, 2015On January 21, the students of Simon Fraser University decided to reject giving a debenture to Build SFU for the construction of a Student Union Building (SUB) and stadium. The vote was close, but Build SFU fell short of the…
Continue reading
If famous romantic movie quotes were rewritten to be about pizza
January 26, 2015“You had me at stuffed crust.” “Here’s looking at you, Pizza Garden.” “Don’t forget: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a ham and pineapple pizza, asking it to love her.” “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna…
Continue reading
How to make the most of your Sir John A. MacDonald Day party
January 9, 2015It creeps up faster every year. On January 11, Canadians everywhere will be coming together to celebrate the most magical holiday of the season: Sir John A. MacDonald Day. Since its inception in 2002, Sir John A. MacDonald Day has…
Continue reading
