By: Dev Petrovic, Peak Associate
A recent act of puzzling aggression against The Peak — fuelled by kind of a tricky crossword — has sparked confusion among the publication’s student-journalists and staff members. A not-so-frequent reader of The Peak, who only occasionally picks up the issue for the crossword on the last page, has expressed their “deep disappointment” in the publication. For privacy reasons, the student’s identity will be kept anonymous.
“It just ruined my day,” they said, referring to the issue they grabbed after class. “I have never been more appalled by a media outlet. The paper is misleading and offensive! I spent three days on the crossword and only got halfway through!”
The student allegedly made a public declaration of their frustration outside The Peak’s office. “I really gave them a piece of my mind by showing up there completely intrusively,” they explained. “Someone has to stand up to those sneaks! They are lying to everyone with their little ‘diversions.’ Well guess what? I’ve certainly been diverted. . . from reading the paper! Ha!”
The student insisted there’s no way the crossword struggle comes from their own lack of knowledge, but that it’s “clearly a result of flawed journalistic integrity.” According to the student, “The Peak is attempting to brainwash its readers by conspiring inhumanely difficult puzzles.” They also explained that putting a big puzzle on the back cover “manipulates” people into actually reading the paper.
The Peak gets its crosswords off a random website. Absolutely no thought goes into it whatsoever.
“I just wish they would’ve sent an email or something,” commented Meera Eragoda, the paper’s Editor-in-Chief. “They just stomped in circles outside The Peak’s office, aggressively flailing their arms and hissing at people who tried to get to the door.”
From the student’s Twitter page, it is suspected that a more logical reasoning for the student’s outburst may be their inflated and fragile ego, as the tweet reads, “seems like The Peak only cares about their reading audiences. Shameful. I’m especially appalled by the last page this week. Never picking up an issue again.”
When asked if they’ve ever actually read the paper, they responded, “Sometimes I’ve gotten a glimpse of a couple of headlines while flipping to the back, and I definitely don’t agree with any of them. It’s all biased.”
They then went on a two-hour rant about why the answer to “a six letter word for irrational” should be “right” (yes, The Peak informed them that “right” is five letters and they didn’t believe us).
Eragoda revealed in a conversation with the student, they noticed “the student was definitely filling out their crossword answers in the sudoku squares.”
For legal reasons, The Peak is unable to speak any further on the incident.